‘You are my Nemo. If you get lost in the great, big ocean, I’ll find you’ ∼ Finding Nemo
The women you can bank on, the ones who will stand by you on a rainy day or take on the world with formidable courage for you, are so rare to find. But when you find them and nurture them, you become their Nemos, and inevitably, they become yours.
However, finding love in the form of an unconditional girlfriend requires that we first get our principles right – moral, social and individual. So, here comes some free, unsolicited advice so you don’t have to later deal with the bitches you created.
1. Drink water. Meditate. Lather yourself in coconut oil. Get your nails done. Read books. Start a business. Mind yours.
2. Stop bickering and bitching. Stop playing the victim to circumstances that you created. Be nice. It doesn’t take much. Being mean AF looks cool only in the movies. Soar above the radar of those who smell of drama and headaches.
3. Be the one who says ‘lets start over’. It is never too late. Sometimes the right people have the wrong timing. Believe in second chances, but not in a third.
4. Never compete, always empower. When you rise by lifting others, incredible things happen. There’s nothing more attractive than a women who is secure, independent and self-aware.
5. Don’t invite strangers to your circle of trust. Keep your circle small, cosy and finite. Stay close to the people who feel like sunshine.
6. Don’t try to impress, lick ass, bribe, threaten or exaggerate. Humility is the new black.
7. Don’t hold grudges, have conversations. Talking is often healthier than bottling emotions and spewing molten lava one fine day. More often than not, talking about your feelings clears the air and you realize that things are not as bad as they seemed to be.
8. Be polite, gracious, sensitive, and practice social etiquette. You don’t have to always be socially acceptable with your besties, but saying thank you or being courteous never goes out of style.
9. Build immunity towards small talk and smaller minds. Know your worth and don’t weigh someone else’s.
10. Smile, because why not? Anger, distress, disappointment, jealousy or disgust — smile it out. And, let it pass. In all probability, your feelings are temporary, misplaced or misinformed. Even if that’s not true, have the fortitude to walk away with dignity.
11. Be loyal or die trying. If you absolutely need to take sides, then take an informed decision and stick to one side of the line — NO MATTER WHAT.
12. Don’t judge somebody’s present by their past. You aren’t flawless, and neither was your past.
13. Just because girls do not have a ‘bro code’ doesn’t mean that we cannot parallel it. A secret is a secret because only two people are supposed to share that knowledge. Respect it. When someone entrusts you with their deepest truth, don’t make a mockery of it. It’s not cool.
14. Have the grit to speak the truth. Break it gently, kindly and slowly. But don’t allow your bestie to be somebody else’s fool.
15. More observation, less blah-blah. In a new circle of girlfriends, observe intently before you speak. It may prove wise to hold your thoughts on saving the world for an audience that is ready for it.
16. Give a compliment and mean it. Practice saying ‘Damn girl, you so fine!’ to the girls who deserve to hear it. Insecurity can be fatal, nip it in the bud.
17. Tell her you love her. Maybe she needs to hear it often. Maybe you don’t say it enough. Expression is the biggest part of any real relationship.
I’ll stop at 17, because I don’t have anymore.
I know for certain who my Nemos are, and I am blessed to be someone else’s too. Are you?
Now, ponder for a few minutes, do the math and then be the all-caring, all-supporting, all-empowering girlfriend, not the ambitchous (adj. striving to be more of a bitch than the average bitch) one.
Let this be the time when we build a new (improved) tribe of worthy women who love, care, help, support, empower and lift the other women in their lives. How can we expect to have equal rights and make our voices heard when we are so caught up in our own vicious web of internal politics? Please, let’s stop. Let’s grow up.
This post is dedicated to the girls who, with their unconditional love & unwavering faith, have been my constants through life struggles, through successes and through reaffirming my confidence every time I have faltered. Girls, you are my Nemos. I’d do any damn thing for you, any damn day. You know who you are and I’m thinking about you right now!
Happy Womens’ Day my beautiful people!
Disclaimer: Dear Nemo, just because I haven’t included a picture of you in this post, doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. It may just mean that I couldn’t find a picture of us where BOTH of us looked unbelievably thin, sober or half-decent. Yep.
Until next time, XOXO