Coffee in one hand, confidence in the other


I’m a proud supporter of messy hair, yoga pants and Sunday sleep-ins. I’m miss lazy bones on my blah days (read PMS). I wake up with a migraine, brush my teeth, wash my face and ignore the 50 shades of grey under my eyes. I look at my skin care and sulk. Not today. I check on my messages, make the bed, and grab my morning cup of tea.


When my husband senses the live wire vibes, he gently holds my hand and says ‘good morning, beautiful’. I glare at him wondering how can he be so full of hypocrisy? Obviously, I’m a trainwreck – having a bad hair day, looking like Po with dark circles and a bloated tummy. But aside from the fact that I’m PMSing, nothing is really wrong with me. Sometimes, I just need a reason to sulk, brood, and be grumpy.


On days like these, I have to deliberately remind myself that ‘you did not wake up today to be mediocre’. I have to steer my thoughts towards positivity and gratitude. I have to prioritize my body, my skin, my work, my baby and my home over the confused state of my mind. I have to regroup, add some lipstick and attack.

But life’s like that. Some days you eat salad and go to the gym. Some days you eat cupcakes and refuse to put on pants. It’s called balance. It’s what makes the good hair days special.

People, things, babies can be exhausting. Give them a rest. Somebody once said ‘If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit’. If you need to stay in bed and eat ice cream, do it. If you need to cry it out, that’s okay too. Get a box of tissues, think of all the reasons why Harvey Spectre (from Suits!) will not marry you and the tears will come. You are not a mess. You are brave for trying to brace the day.


If life is screwing with you and everything is a blur, let it pass. If life is perfect and you still feel like a broody old lady, know that it happens to the best of us. We are allowed to feel vulnerable and helpless sometimes. But, the only time a girl is really helpless is while her nail polish is drying. So girl, you got this.

There are no 30-day makeover promises being made here. No daily affirmations for self-love and inner peace. Because, only you can tell me what you love doing and what brings joy to your world. Let the beauty of what you love, be what you do.


So, once you have gotten over the sulking and cribbing, get on with the day. On the days you feel uninspired, shift your focus to all the goodness in your life. Embrace the messy hair. Revel in the comfort of track pants. I love my wrinkles, large pores and facial hair – said no one ever. But, let your skin breathe without makeup for today.


Bad moods, PMS, work stress and fights with your boyfriend will last only a few days. Deal with it and find a way of bouncing back to work. Whatever the nature of that work might be. Allowing yourself the freedom to have off days will give you the satisfaction you crave from your busy days doing what excites you.

We often allow our minds to believe what we feel in our hearts – stress, anger, loneliness, resentment, boredom or just a feeling of unexplained sinking. Just for one millisecond, observe your feelings and let them pass. Don’t react, don’t find solutions or explanations. And now, focus on the positives. It’s tough as hell but its the only thing that is going to stop you from snowballing into infernal oblivion. I’m no good at it myself, but I at least try.


Whether you stay in and have a fit of bad humor or go out and conquer the world, don’t half-ass anything. The next time you have the blues, be grateful that the wings of your eyeliner are always even, and that you are still alive and kicking.


For now, find your bearings with coffee in one hand and confidence in the other – tomorrow is going to be a new day. Until then, put your positive pants on because finally, your vibe attracts your tribe. XOXO

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